


Wander Dreamily

by FivePips



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Florence - Freeform, Internship, Italy, Living abroad, Longing, M/M, Resolved Sexual Tension, Sexual Tension, Travel, tuscany, wanting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-16
Updated: 2017-08-31
Packaged: 2018-12-16 05:27:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 20,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11822157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FivePips/pseuds/FivePips
Summary: Remus is picked for a fellowship that brings him to Fiesole, Italy. Under the spell of beautiful Tuscany, he can't help but fall for Sirius.“Through these old streets I wander dreamily; Around me Florence sweeps her busy tide Of life; quaint palaces on every side.”-William Leighton





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this is inspired by Call Me By Your Name but not in an exact form. I started writing it after seeing somethings about it at some point this summer. I love Fiesole and Florence so I decided to put it there. Also, my knowledge of the place helped me work out the scenery. I hope you enjoy it because it’s been fun to write. Hopefully I’ll be posting it regularly as I’m actually almost done writing most of it.

_Mister Remus J Lupin,_  
_With great excitement, I’d like to offer you the summer research fellow position at the Fiesole Archaeological Site under my guidance. I look forward to working with you and helping you move forward on your research into Etruscan life and architecture. You will have full access to the site, as well as full access to our databases and everything the city of Florence has to offer. My goal for you this summer is to compile and accurate reconstruction of the Etruscan temple on the site._

_Room and board will be provided, the only expenses you must provide are any excursions you are interested in during your downtime. You will have plenty of guides at your fingertips to show you around the city, or wherever you are interested. I hope you are as excited as I am for you to join us here in Fiesole._

_Enjoy the rest of your semester,_  
_Monty Potter_

***

Remus made his way through the Amerigo Vespucci Airport in Florence. It wasn’t a large bustling airport like Charle De Gaulle, where he had made his connection, but it was still a busy little place. When he stepped out into the sun-soaked early afternoon, a grin fell upon his face. He had finally made it.

When he opened his eyes, he found a sign with his last name on it and approached the person. Monty had made arrangements for him to be picked up from the airport by someone from his villa.

“‘Ello, Mister Lupin!” A kid, no more than 16 greeted him, waving the sign from where he stood in front of an old black Cadillac. This wasn't exactly what he was expecting with someone like Fleamont Potter. He thought he’d be greeted by some proper chauffeur, not a teen who probably just received his permit. The small knot of anxiety in his chest grew a bit bigger.

“Hi,” Remus smiled politely as the black haired teen dropped the sign into an open window of the car and made his way for the boot.

“I’m Regulus. I’m here to drive you up to the Potter Villa. I know, I look like I’m 14. I’m 16, and the best driver on the Potter land. You don’t want my brother to get you. James, Effie, and Monty are both busy with something or another at the moment.” Regulus grabbed Remus’ large luggage, and with a little grunting and struggling, got it into the boot of the car.

“Right, when am I going to meet Monty?” Remus asked, furrowing his brow as Regulus regarded his work with a little smile.

“Not till dinner, I’d say. He didn’t want you to jump right in the first day. You have to settle in and all that rot.” Regulus said as he stuffed Remus’s carry-on in the boot. “Fleur can make so lunch for us if we're interested. That's always a treat. You can also get a lay of the land of the villa before you have to do any work. I promised to clean up the garden, but I bet Sirius could give you a tour.”

“Sirius…” Remus asked as he followed Regulus’ lead and got into the car.

“My brother. He’s best mates with James — Monty’s son. I got lucky enough to tag along with them the last two summers. You’ll like Sirius, everyone always does.” Regulus sounded a bit exasperated at that. Remus wasn’t ready to dig into the brother’s relationship, he had just met them. He also wasn’t there to study them. He was there for the Etruscans.

***

Regulus drove them through the city of Florence, then up the winding Tuscan hills towards the Potter villa. He prattled on about what was great about the area. Remus was only half listening as he took in the gorgeous greenery around him and the growing distant views of the city of Florence with its terracotta roofs tops and sun-washed creamy colors.

Remus had little expectations about his fellowship with Monty Potter. He had applied on a whim when he saw the advert in some pamphlet at Cambridge, where he was studying for his Masters in Ancient and Classical Architecture with a focus on the Etruscans. He only cared that he’d get to work around so much of the history he only really knew of in theory or photographs. To be able to be up close and examine the world was going to be amazing. Living in some villa not far from the site and the city of Florence was only a plus.

He was starting to get a little bit worried about sharing space with so many people. So far there was Effie and Fleamont, both of whom he expected. Then there was their son James, which was no big deal. But Regulus and Sirius were a surprise and apparently James’ girlfriend Lily would be making an appearance at some point for a large chunk of the summer. On top of that was Fleur, who was apparently the live-in chef. Plus there were also Dorcas and Marlene, who were studying at Florence University of the Arts for the summer — their parents were friends with the Potters and a year ahead of James and Sirius at the boarding school they had attended. That was a lot of bloody people in one place.

But Remus’ fears of claustrophobia were quelled quickly when Regulus pulled into the long private drive of the Potter’s villa. In front of him stretched rows of lemon and orange trees on both sides of the drive. When they reached the end of the drive, they were in front of the villa, likely the size of his dormitory back in England but laid out in the typical Tuscan villa. It was a burnt orange villa with brown shudders lining the open windows, varying in size. There was a veranda off to the right side, and on the left, there were roses climbing up the side of the house.

Regulus led him on a basic tour of the interior of the house. Remus could spend his time just looking at the architecture of the villa itself. As they rounded the corner to take the stairs, Remus collided with another body. “Bloody hell, I’m so sorry,” Remus said, catching himself on the wall behind him.

The man he collided with laughed before he stood up straight. This was obviously Regulus’ brother. He was a foot taller, and his black hair wasn’t cut short like his brothers. It was piled in a bun on top of his head. His eyes were a piercing blue, where Regulus’ was a murky brown. He was so attractive that it was a bit ridiculous. “It’s fine, mate.” Sirius stuck his hand out. “I’m Sirius Black, welcome to the Potter’s.”

“Ah, thanks.” Remus shook his hand. “I’m Remus Lupin, the summer research fellow.”

“You’re going to love it here. No one ever wants to leave it at the end. I’m fairly certain that someone stayed in Florence, he probably busks for money now in the Piazza. That bloke was completely insufferable, though.”

“Just looking I can see why someone might want to stay,” Remus said with a grin, not sure how to answer Sirius’ little story. “I can’t wait to see everything.”

“If you ever need a guide, I can help you. I’ve been coming here since I was 12.”

“He’s only just 18, don’t let them impress you.” Regulus played with the handle of Remus’ suitcase.

“That’s still six years,” Remus reasoned but at the same time mentally kicking himself for finding Sirius so attractive. He wasn’t even in Uni yet. There was a five year age difference between the two of them, Remus felt rather gross for a moment.

“See, Reg, he agrees. It’s only your second summer.”

“Well, if he drives you, good luck. You might not survive to see the end of the summer.” Regulus shrugged. “Now, Brother, if you’re done interrupting, I need to get Remus to his room.”

Sirius gave a little tilt of his head and a grin before taking off passed Regulus and Remus.

***

_Hi Mum & Dad,_

_Just wanted to let you know I made it to Florence. You’d love it here. I’ll take lots of pictures and pick up some post cards. I think this is going to be a very good summer. I can’t wait to see the site and get started on my work, though. I’ll update you later._

_Love,_  
_Remus_

***

 _Gid,_  
_So, Florence is bloody brilliant. Not that I’ve seen much, but I could just sit and look at my surroundings all day. The villa I’m at is fucking awesome and huge. Also, there’s a bloke here who is bloody gorgeous, but he’s only 18. Kill me, why don’t you? I’m a horrible person._

 _Fuck me,_  
_Remus_

 

***

Remus unpacked then took a nap. When he woke up, it was about dinner time, so he wandered down to the main level of the house. As he crossed into the living room, a streak of pink hair flashed by him then followed Regulus, “Nym! Careful!”

“Nym?”

“She’s my cousin’s kid. They’re visiting. They have a place in the city though, so they’re not staying here. But yeah, more people.” Regulus laughed. “The Potters love people. They seem to collect them, or something.” Regulus said. “Sirius, James, and Dorcas are out back in the garden chatting and having a drink if you want to join them. Effie, Monty, and Nym’s parents are in the sitting room.”

Remus hesitated a moment about where to go, but before he could decide, his mind was made up for him when Monty came out from one of the many doorways wearing a large smile. He was tall, with dark tanned skin. His hair was black and a bit messy as if he had been working hard all day. When Remus shook his hand, he could feel calluses from years of work.

“It’s so nice to meet you in person, Remus. We’re glad to have you here finally. How was the flight?”

“Fine,” Remus said after taking a deep breath. Meeting so many new people was making him horribly anxious. It was okay when it was just Regulus at first. Then meeting Sirius was an accident. But now the house was full of people Remus didn’t know and had to meet. What did he get himself in to? He should have taken something that let him hide away from so many people.

“Wonderful, let me introduce you to everyone we have milling about. I'm so sorry if it’s overwhelming. I hear you met Sirius already, so he and Regulus take two people off the list.”

Monty brought Remus around the house to meet Effie (short, sweet, and rather funny), Andi (Nym’s mum, tall, blonde, a bit scary), Ted (warm, Andi’s husband, a bit of an every man), Fleur (Part French, Part Italian, a whole lot of fire), Dorcas (kind, a bit of a hipster), Marlene (she was bloody beautiful, flirtatious especially with Sirius, and smart), James (nearly the carbon of his father but just a tad less charismatic). Remus ended up in the back garden with Dorcas, Sirius, and James for a drink after the whirlwind of introductions.

“I’ve only been here for a week, and I love it. I have to start classes on this coming Monday, but I’m not sad about it.” Dorcas smiled softly. “I’m sure I’m going to soak up so much knowledge from this place. I feel like I already have.”

“You can’t gain knowledge through osmosis, Dori.” Sirius rolled his eyes.

“She’s gaining some sort of wisdom from being in such an old city, even if it’s not the qualitative knowledge you’re used to. Sirius wants to be a doctor. It’s scary, him saving lives. You’d think that too if you knew him.”

“It’s not scary…”

Sirius, Dorcas, and James continued to talk to Remus but Remus never actually joined in the conversation. He was feeling tired, worn out, and anxious. None of those lead to him being a great conversationalist. It carried on that way into dinner, which was the best food he had ever had in his life. Everyone was so nice but he barely said a word. They were all filling in the sentences for him. The Potters & Co. were so nice that it was hard for him to feel annoyed that all they were doing was talking at him and around him. They were clearly trying to make him feel at home.

***

That night Remus found himself out in the garden under the moonlight. He was restless when he tried to sleep so he thought some fresh air might do him well to settle. Remus always had a hard time sleeping in brand new places, even when he was as exhausted as he felt. The cat nap he took early didn’t do much to completely recharge him.

“Thinking about running away? We are an overwhelming bunch of people.”

Remus jumped at Sirius’ voice behind him as he was examining the orange tree. “Bloody hell.”

“Sorry.” Sirius chuckled, coming to stand next to him, brushing his shoulder against Remus. “So, are you all ready to run away?”

“I wasn’t planning on it,” Remus said flatly.

“You hardly said ‘boo’ tonight.”

“I hardly had a chance.”

“True.” Sirius looked up to the night sky. “You should talk more.”

“Why?”

“I think you probably have a lot to say.”

“You do? You’ve just met me.”

“You’re smart, right? Monty wouldn’t have brought you here otherwise. Most smart people have a lot to say, even if they don’t want to. I mean, we’ve met people who came out here who wouldn’t bloody shut up about what they knew. I think you could find a balance of saying too much and saying too little.”

“Maybe you all just have more to say than me.”

“That’s doubtful,” Sirius said. There was a long pause before Sirius spoke again, “Tell me, Remus, Remus Lupin, do you like your name?”

“Why?”

“It’s an odd name. So isn’t Sirius, so I’m not judging. I’m just curious.”

“I like my name.”

“Good. I like mine too. I’m sure you have the piss taken all the time because you’re studying Romans and your name is Remus.”

“I’m studying the Etruscans, and it still happens, yeah.”

“Sorry. At least I don’t have to be a dog breeder or something. My name would be too on point for that.” Sirius sat down in the lush, green grass. “You don’t seem to mind though.”

“It’s annoying but, I’m over it since it happens all the time.”

Sirius just nodded. “You can sit next to me.”

“I think I’m going to go to sleep. It’s been a long day.”

“Okay.” Sirius said with a little frown on his pouty lips. “Goodnight.”

***

That night Remus dreamed of orange groves, green grass, and Sirius’ lips. He was in trouble.


	2. Chapter 2

_Hi Mum & Dad,_   
_Things are still going well. I spend most of my time at the site or in libraries. Monty is a wealth of information, one that I’m fortunate to have._

_I miss home, but I do love the Potter’s villa. Everyone is very nice here and have gone out of their ways to make me feel at home. Sorry, I don’t have more to write, but I’m busy._

_Love,_   
_Remus_

***

Over two weeks later, Remus sat on the steps of the ruins of the temple, sketching the walls and foundations. He was working on what the main sanctuary of the temple may have looked like with the help of Monty and others around the site, as well as other research tools he had access to. It was hard work because there were so many considerations. There were no pictures or paintings of what the insides may have looked like in their original form. It was a lot of conjecture. But very interesting and exactly what interested Remus.

“Hiya, Lupin.” Sirius sauntered over with his hands in his pockets. His long hair was down, looking perfectly tousled. Remus at times wondered if Sirius’ beauty was going to be wasted as a doctor. At least his future patients will appreciate it.

Sirius. Sirius was a problem and a distraction. When Remus would arrive home after a day researching, he would find Sirius lounging around the pool in the garden with just his trunks on or sitting on the kitchen counter eating peaches or plums or strawberries. He would grin and bat his eyelashes and brush a hand or shoulder against him like some sort of feline. But he did the same with Marlene and Dorcas, so it wasn’t as he was hitting on Remus. It was just how Sirius was. But it didn’t help Remus’ brain to stop fantasizing.

“What are you doing here?” Remus raised an eyebrow at the younger man.

“I like coming to visit. I mean, get a load of that view. I can’t get enough of it.” Sirius looked at Remus for far too long before moving his eyes to glance out over the rolling hills behind him. “After you get out, would you like to come for dinner and drinks? I can show you the city. All you do is sit up here sketching or with your nose in books or whatever. You’re in a beautiful country for the summer, enjoy it.” Sirius rolled up on to the balls of his feet and stretched.

“Is anyone else coming?”

“Reg is spending time with a mate from a place down the way. James is face timing Lily. The Potters are having their typical Friday night date night. Marls and Dorcas are on a date as well.”

“Date?” Remus raised an eyebrow.

“Wow, you’re oblivious. Yeah, a date, mate.” Sirius chuckled. “They’ve been a couple for two years. They’re grossly in love. I hate them. James and Lily are worse, though. Me, I don’t understand how you can be so in love with someone like that, so young. Have you ever been in love, Remus?”

Remus took a second to recover from the fact that Marlene and Dorcas were an item. It made sense now that he thought about it. They sat close, held hands, and did those small romantic gestures couples tended to do. He felt daft. “No, I’ve never been in love,” Remus said.

“Ever, how? You’re 23, going on 24 and you’ve never been in love. It’s not as if you’re a total dud. You’re rather attractive and funny and smart—”

Remus cut Sirius’ listing of his good qualities off, “I’m not a fan of vulnerability and to fall in love you have to be vulnerable. If you’re not then you can’t ever let anyone get close enough.”

“Are you a virgin?” Sirius asked with a wicked grin.

Remus snickered, “No but there shouldn’t be an issue if I were. Virginity is a construct.”

“I am, so I don’t care either way.” Sirius shrugged as he took a seat next to Remus. “Vulnerability, that’s true for me too. It’s horrifying, to open up to people.”

“You’re open,” Remus suggested, finally closing his sketchbook and tucking his pencil behind his ear. He wasn't going to get any work done with Sirius there.

“I’m fake open. I never talk about myself. You’re far more open than me, so I doubt I’ll ever find love if you haven’t. I’m even better looking than you are too.” He said the last part jokingly but the rest was very serious.

Remus was about to say that it wasn’t true, that Sirius was really open but he thought back on their conversations, and he couldn’t think of anything about Sirius that he had learned outside of the basics. “Tell me something about you, then.” Remus dared.

“If you come out with me tonight I'll tell you something. You need to have some fun and see the city.”

“You’re honestly bargaining your own personal secrets just to get me out?”

“Yes, it’s that desperate. Who knows, maybe you’ll find the love of your life out there. My saying something with some actual meaning might do you some good.” Sirius leaned into Remus, nearly knocking him off balance.

“Fine, I’ll get a drink. Maybe some pizza?”

“Brilliant, we can do both at once, it’s not that hard.”

“It sounds very date like.”

“It’s not.” Sirius waved a hand. “It’s two people out for something to eat and a glass or six of wine.”

***

_Hey You Bastard,_

_Shagged the cute bloke there yet? No? You should just do it._

_Gid_

***

 _Hey You Prick,_  
  
_Fuck off._

_Remus_

***

Remus had only ventured into Florence during the day. He had gone to do research, so he mostly so the insides of museums or libraries. He didn’t get the chance to wander over the bridges or through the tight alleyways. He did visit a market on this past Sunday with Marlene to buy some snacks and such, but it wasn’t if he needed to find food to make. But they weren’t there very long and didn’t do anything but shop for food.

Tonight though, he got to see Florence as a place not just of antiquity. He was there for the nightlife and its food and wine. Sirius told him not to look too hard at the architecture of the buildings or the cobblestone of the sidewalks. He wasn’t to wonder about when pizza became apart of the cuisine or why gelato was so popular. He was just to enjoy it. Those were his orders. Orders that made things seem even more date like because he never tried to be too nerdy on first dates. But Sirius knew how his brain worked, so it wasn’t like a first date at all — it wasn’t a date.

“You’re fluent in Italian?” Remus was surprised after Sirius had ordered for them.

“Of course. You aren’t?”

“No, I’m into dead languages.”

Sirius snorted a laugh as he leaned forward on the table. “I guess Latin might be helpful to me as a doctor and all but I haven't got into it.”

“What type of doctor do you want to be?” Remus asked, trying to get to those more in depth questions Sirius never seemed to answer or speak on.

“Pediatrics. There are a lot of kids who need a lot of help, so I want to help. Maybe I’ll cure something one day.”

“You are brilliant with Nym.”

“Yeah, she’s part of the reason. She had a lot of trouble when she was around four. She’s got juvenile diabetes.”

Remus frowned, “Oh, I didn’t know.”

“Of course not, she’s amazing. Andi and Ted have done everything to make sure she stays healthy, even if it exhausts them. I wish…” Sirius trailed off as a bottle of wine and two glasses were placed on their table before the waiter went off. The restaurant was nearly bursting at the seams with people but Remus was nice and comfortable with Sirius in the back corner.

“You wish what?”

“I wish that I had a glass of wine, which I can do right now.” Sirius said before pouring out an equal amount in each glass. He was clearly going to avoid the question so Remus decided not to press him any further. “So, do your parents miss you? I bet you’ve some good ones.”

“Yeah, mum didn’t want me to leave. I’m almost 24, and she still thinks that I’m a child.”

“Quaint.” Sirius said with a little bit of venom on his tongue. Remus wanted to know more about the other man’s home life but he was aware that he wouldn’t get anywhere. It had to be something not wonderful because Regulus and Sirius seemed to be the Potter’s adoptive children. There was never any mention of the Blacks, even Andi and Ted didn’t bring up that branch of the family. The two young men were mostly nursing some scars from the past that no one wanted to touch.

“Bugger off.” Remus shot back.

“You’re so quiet but you’re also a prick sometimes. But in a good way, like you’d only be a prick to people you like. I like that about you.” Sirius took a long sip of the merlot in his glass. “What are you going to do when you get your masters?”

“I don’t know, hopefully, go work at a dig site or for a university or something. I want to get my Doctorate, but it’s bloody expensive.”

“Mmm, yeah.” Sirius grimaced like he was thinking about the cost of his future education. “Maybe you’ll get lucky and Monty will like you enough to pay your way.”

“What?” Remus said after taking a drink of his wine.

“He’s done that before, helped people pay for Uni. He’s loaded, if you couldn’t tell. Very old money, of course. A lot of new money too from Effie’s side.” Sirius said as if it was not big deal.

“He has?”

“Oh yeah, but he has to like you enough. He’ll probably offer you a scholarship because you’re so keen on the topic and you’re not a know it all. I can’t tell you how many know it alls have come here in the five years I’ve been around. James told me about some before too. Arseholes, but not in a funny way like you can be. Maybe you can come back next year.”

“I’m two weeks in, how do I even know I want to come back.”

“You like it here.” Sirius shrugged. “Everyone likes you too. I heard Effie talk about how you’re the most polite guest she’s ever had in her home. Monty likes your brain and how you think. Reg told me that you’d make a better brother. James said that you’re funnier than me.”

“What about you?” Remus asked. He was surprised at how interested he sounded in Sirius' thoughts about him. He also leaned on the table to get as close to Sirius as he could.

“I think you’re smart, wicked, and lovely,” Sirius spoke in his usual nonchalant manner.

“Do you only flirt? Is that your main way of communication?”

“I don’t know how to make real connections, so maybe, yeah.”

“You have a real connection with James and the rest of the Potters.”

Sirius shrugged, “I guess. That wasn’t all me though. You know the Potters now, they’re good at that shite.”

“They are.”

***

Following dinner and the bottle of wine, Remus and Sirius wandered the streets of Florence at night. In the back of Remus’ head, he thought of the crime rates on tourist but Sirius didn’t seem nervous. Sirius knew the city better than him so he followed the younger man, who would make comments about places every so often (‘they’ve the best gelato in the city’, ‘that’s a great place to people watch’, ‘it’s even more beautiful during the day’, ‘we should spend a day here this coming weekend’).

“Come on.” Sirius grabbed Remus’ arm and dragged him into a cramped little bar. Everyone was speaking Italian, and there were no tourist in sight. Remus was sure he was the only one there who didn’t know the native language. He could understand some of the things that were being said around him, but not totally. Latin came in handy somewhat, even if it was dead. Not that he could talk to these people.

Sirius ordered shots of grappa and appeared to flirt with the pretty curly haired girl next to him. Remus fell into his usual role as an observer as he watched the bar. The people were loud and everyone seemed to have friends all around them. Sirius seemed to decided that Remus was no longer as interesting as the girl next to him after the second shot of grappa.

“I’m going home.” Remus said, tapping on Sirius shoulder. “I saw a bus stop down the street that will take me back.”

Sirius frowned, deeply. “Call Jamie or Reg. We’ll have one of them pick us up.”

“No, you’re doing well.” He smiled at the pretty girl watching them with big brown eyes and a toothy smile.

“I’m— oh, right. But I don’t want you to go home alone, that’s not on.”

“It’s not the first time a bloke has gone home without their mate before. Don’t worry, have fun. Be the barest minimum amount of vulnerable if you’re interested.”

Sirius furrowed his brow before the girl next to him said something in Italian that sounded exciting. Without another word, Remus left for the villa. The wait for the bus was a little nerve wracking in the dark by himself but in the end, he made it back to Fiesole without incident. He had to walk about a mile from the bus stop in order to make it back to the villa but it was rather refreshing. The pleasant buzz he had had back at the bar had disappeared but he still felt content.

He reflected on the night and on Sirius. He wondered if anyone as alive and vivacious as the younger man would ever go for Remus, who had the tendency to be a little more of a introvert. He wondered if maybe Sirius was going to listen and be vulnerable enough to shag the beautiful Italian girl. The thought sent a wave of unbelievable jealousy over him. He didn’t want to have anything other than a nice friendship with Sirius. Well, he did but he knew that it wasn’t right for him to want it. Sirius was young and deserved to be with beautiful girls who didn’t speak English. Sirius didn’t deserve an anxious man who preferred books to most people or someone who had already been through uni and started to be an adult.

Remus stayed up until the sun began to rise, reading and just looking out his window. It wasn’t until Remus was falling to sleep that Sirius climbed the stairs and closed the do or to his room.


	3. Chapter 3

_Gid,_

_You’re going to be sorely disappointed, but the cute bloke is currently shagging some bird. I left him at the bar for him to get a leg over. Can’t wait for you to yell at me about this._

_I don’t miss you,_   
_Remus_

***

_Remus,_

_Live a little, mate. You’re bi, and you should know that just because he’s shagging a bird, doesn’t mean he’s not interested in you._

_I know you miss me,_   
_Gid_

***

Lily Evans, James’ girlfriend, arrived the morning after Remus had spent the night out in Florence with Sirius. Remus missed her arrival as he was sleeping until noon, which made him feel lazy but no one else seemed to mind him doing so. But he missed meeting Lily the rest of the day because James had whisked her off to do couple-like things in the city. Sirius was also missing. Regulus said he looked broody and had gone on a long walk probably to the river. It was until just before dinner that he finally got the chance to meet the fiery red head and see Sirius for the first time all day.

Remus was sitting with his feet dangling in the pool in the garden when he heard laughter from the villa. He didn’t turn to look at where it was coming from until he heard a wolf whistle behind him. “Oh, he is very cute, Sirius!” Remus turned just in time to see the younger man go a deep scarlet. Sirius was talking about how cute he was to other people. Why would he do that? It had to be a part of his constant flirting. It had to be. The other reasons weren’t something that Remus wanted to dwell on. “You must be Lily. Hi, it’s nice to meet you finally.” Remus stood up to greet her, ignoring the comment. He noticed Sirius relax when he didn’t say anything about the whole being cute thing.

“You too, wow you’re tall as well.” She looked up at Remus. She made an approving face.

“Doesn’t help that you’re short, love.” James chuckled, and Lily pinched him.

“So, have these two been treating you well, showing you the sites, and all that? They can be proper idiots so let me know if they haven’t because I’ll put them in their place. I’m rather good at it, been doing it for years now. I hope that they haven’t completely forgotten about you. They tend to do that with Monty’s people. It’s not like you’re that much older than us.”

“Obviously we haven’t been ignoring him. I think once you hit 18, five year age difference is nothing is nothing.” James said, looking at Remus rather pointedly. He felt like James was reading his mind in regards to him fancying Sirius. Or was Sirius also having some hesitation on the subject?

“Tell me, Remus Lupin, what exactly are you doing at the site? I love history. Any random information is apperciated.” Lily implored, leaning closer to Remus as if he was going to tell her some ancient secrets.

“She’s going to be a teacher.” James supplied as Lily took a seat at the table a few steps away from the pool.

“Maybe I can bring you into my future class one day to talk about everything Etruscan. By then you’ll probably be some accomplished academic.” She smiled as James, Sirius, and Remus took a seat with her.

“Can we change the subject before you bore me to death?” James complained to the group, trying his best to look completely miserable.

“What’s boring is your love of law. That’s a right snooze fest.” Sirius scoffed at his best mate. “James never visits the site. I bet he’s only gone when Monty forced him as a kid.”

“Unlike Sirius who spends every other day wandering around there. I don’t know what you lot can see there. We’ve been looking at the ancient world forever.”

“There’s still so much more to know! It’s where we come from, James. You can't be that daft.” Lily said, rolling her eyes. “I’m sure parts of your beloved law come from our pasts.”

“James, you’re the boring one here,” Sirius said, his foot nudging against Remus’ calf. “I’m happy you got home safely last night, mate.”

“I can’t believe Sirius left you to get home on your own. What a twat! I would have come to pick you up.” James complained. “It’s not safe to be out by yourself at night, no matter who you are or where you are.”

“I was all right, but I won’t do it again if it makes you happy,” Remus said, but he couldn’t really promise because the walk home from the bus stop was rather lovely at night. But he didn’t really want to go off with Sirius at night anymore in fear of a repeat.

“I’m not mad at you. It’s him.” James glared at Sirius. “Stayed out to get off with some girl and make our guest, someone he invited out, to go back alone.”

“Remus told me to stay out and enjoy myself, so I stayed out and enjoyed myself,” Sirius said in defense. That same jealousy Remus had last night, curled around his chest. He could have been a bastard and made Sirius go home with him. He could have made Sirius pay attention to him. He didn’t. It was Remus’ own fault Sirius found more interest in the pretty girl than him. He needed to stop blaming Sirius.

James made a face that Remus couldn’t read that well. It was probably one that someone might know if they had been mates with him for a while because Lily nodded while Sirius looked ashamed for a second before he recovered in his typical Sirius style. “Let’s move on, shall we? Remus, Fleur is making a homemade gelato, it’s going to beat that shop that we walked by last night.”

Sirius was a master deflector because somehow that managed the rest of the group to get off on another topic. Remus wondered how long it took him to harness that power when he was growing up. He wondered what type of environment he needed to grow up in for it to get that good. Again, he didn’t spend to my brain power on the topic because it was rather unpleasant.

The four sat talking until it was time to join the rest of the villa’s occupants for dinner.

***

After dessert, Remus went up to his room feeling exhausted, but he soon realized he wouldn’t be getting much sleep. On his bed was a hand written note, which was odd but Remus thought nothing of it, possibly it was an invitation to go out late with the others. Or maybe Monty had thought of something earlier and wanted Remus to have something in writing for his notes. Or perhaps Regulus thought of the video that he wanted Remus to watch when they were chatting the other day.

But he picked it up and found a poem in neat hand writing. It certainly wasn’t what he was expecting. It was something that would have made even one of the dead Etruscans at the site blush.

_For I know you_   
_You are the stars surrounding me_   
_You are the warm breeze_   
_The smell of the citrus_

_I know you_   
_But I do not know you_   
_You are an enigma_   
_Untouchable yet calling for my touch_

_My touch down your chest_   
_My hands on your spine_   
_Your lips on me_   
_Your body on mine_

_I’ll wait for you, patiently_   
_Something that is unknown to me_   
_This waiting and wanting_   
_This possible rejection_

_I can only hope you’re gentle_   
_With my feelings, at least_   
_With me, be rough_   
_With me, hold me down_

_Scratch your nails up my thighs_   
_Leave bite marks on my shoulders_   
_The more you leave behind_   
_The more I’ll remember_

_I think about you at night_   
_My fingers fill the spaces where you should be_   
_I bite my own lip_   
_I pull my own hair_

_I buck my hips against the soft sheets_   
_Not your hard body_   
_The sweat pools on my skin_   
_I whisper your name into the dark_

_Tell me what to do_   
_To leave you alone_   
_To get on my knees and make you cum_   
_To kiss you in the sweetest way_

_Yell it_   
_Whisper it_   
_Write it_   
_Just tell me to do something_

Remus felt his breath was slow and heavy, his cheeks were hot, and his cock was coming to slow attention. He knew he couldn’t be positive, but he was 99.999999% sure this was from Sirius. He was the only real option of who could write the poem. Everyone else would have been a reach. But surely he couldn’t have that much desire in him for Remus. There were beautiful Italian girls with big brown eyes who flirted with him at bars. There were years of uni ahead of him where he could meet anyone and have anyone he pleased. But he wanted Remus? Why?

After gathering his thoughts and getting himself to calm down, Remus went back downstairs to look for Sirius. He needed just some sign to know for sure that this was his doing. Remus wasn’t going to act on it but… but he just needed to know that someone wasn’t just having him on. He’d figure out what he’d do with the information later. So he went down to sitting room, where he had left the rest of the house when he retired to his bedroom. The only people in there were Monty and Effie, having coffee and chatting about their respective days.

Remus made his way through the dining room to find Marlene and Dorcas laughing over something that looked private, so he didn’t linger. He still was mad at himself for not realizing their relationship earlier.

In the garden, he heard laughter and splashing in the pool but only saw two bodies and only heard two laughs, James and Lily. He could have asked them where Sirius was, or if Sirius was out there in the dark, but he let them be alone.

Regulus was chatting with Fleur in Italian as they shared another bowl of her homemade gelato in the kitchen. He told Remus the other day that he was going to be an even better chef than Fleur.

Remus even went to look in Sirius’ room, but he wasn’t there. His bed was empty, and the light was off. Sirius was nowhere Remus could find, now he felt like he was being made to wait.

***

“Up for a hike?” James asked, poking his head into Remus’ room. “We’re all going. We all meaning the young ones, my parents are going to a friend’s vineyard for the day.”

“No, thanks. I’m going to stay in and read. I’m not into hikes.” Remus reached for his book as James stepped into the room. Inside the book was the poem that most likely was penned by Sirius.

“It’s a beautiful view, but I get it. Hiking isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. I think we should be back for dinner, but enjoy the house to yourself. Fleur isn’t going to be around either.” James winked as if Remus could get up to something interesting alone in the villa. “Have a good day.”

“Caio,” Remus said with a laugh as James saluted him and ducked back out of the room. He was glad the other man didn’t push. Sometimes Remus needed to be alone and today was one of those days.

For a little while, Remus sat with the book on his chest and thought about how he was probably going to miss out on a nice day. But he didn’t believe that a relaxing day off should include hiking up a mountain in the heat. He would have preferred a nice stroll to the village or a day in the city. He picked up the book, opening, so the poem fell out onto his chest. He put the paper aside, which now had a nice crease down the middle from Remus reading it five times before he was able to fall into a restless sleep.

With everything, he tried to focus on the book. It was meant to be a psychological thriller, but the plot seemed stale. He finally tossed the book aside decided to look around the empty villa. It was always full of people so to be alone in it was somewhat of a thrill. It was much better than scaling a mountain.

Instead, Remus got to really look at the villa. He went to the depths of the wine cellar, which felt very much like catacombs. He investigated Fleur’s kitchen and all the spices and food she had about. Remus stood for a long time in the middle of the dining room with the doors wide open to the garden, overlooking the hills, just feeling completely alone at once in that villa. A very good alone after being in a house with so many people all of the time.

Remus walked out into the garden to take in the scenery without having to worry about someone coming out to talk his ear off. After five minutes of feeling the soft grass under his feet, his gazed looked towards the pool. He never went for a swim before, just dipped his feet in. The afternoon was hot, and everyone was gone. Suddenly feeling very mischievous, he walked over to the pool, stripping off his clothes as he went. Before he got to the end of the pool, he hesitated for a moment before he took off his pants.

After a few laps and some general floating about the pool, Remus didn’t get the whole thrill of swimming naked. Sure, it was nice to feel the water on his skin, but it wasn’t exactly as enthralling as most people made it out to be. With someone else, Remus could see how it might be nice. But alone, it was boring.

Thinking of being alone in that moment in the pool, led Remus to thoughts of Sirius. Sirius in the pool, his pale body, slicing through the water. His long hair pooling around him, making him look like a mermaid. Sirius alone on his room. Sirius touching himself, thinking of Remus, about how he didn’t want to be alone in that room.

Before he was in full realization what he was doing, Remus was toweling himself dry and putting clothes back on. He felt as if he were on autopilot as he went up to Sirius’ room. It was only a door down from his, the bathroom separating their walls. Sirius’ room was just a bit smaller, but it felt cozier. He also had a window seat, which Remus envied. He had never gone in it as if it were some sanctuary that he didn’t feel worthy of being in.

Remus fell flat on to his back on Sirius bed and closed his eyes, thinking back to the poem that was on his bed in his room. He knew it by heart now. With his eyes closed, he could see Sirius on his knees with one hand behind him, with two fingers inside him as he stroked himself with his other hand. Remus’s hand found its way into his boxers and started to stroke in time with his fantasy. He could see Sirius biting his lip red. Remus could hear Sirius panting, his light moans.

Suddenly his brain supplied his own hands into the fantasy. Remus was petting Sirius’ cheek before he pulled him closer. He imagined Sirius’ hands were doing what his own was doing. He wished that Sirius was there, that he could touch him and fuck him. His mind supplied so many fantasies at once it was impossible to focus on one. His orgasm took him by wonderful surprise.

After feeling a bit ashamed for ten-seconds when his mind cleared, he decided he just needed to get it over with. He needed Sirius to know how he felt the same way. On Sirius’ small desk, Remus wrote him a note on what was probably the same notebook that Sirius used and left the paper folded on his pillow.

_I came here without you. I slid my hands into my pants and stroked myself. I thought about you and what you did at night, thinking about me. I thought of what I wanted to do to you. Maybe it's time we stop thinking of another and just be together. Maybe I need to be bold for once in this life and stop living on the sidelines as everyone else has fun. I have six weeks of summer left before I have to back to what is now looking like a drab old England. Maybe I should begin to make the most of it. I’m telling you I want you._


	4. Chapter 4

_Hi Mum & Dad,_

_I’m going to Rome for the week with Monty and some of the crew from the Fiesole site for some research. It’s going to be great to see some more of Italy._

_Remus_

***

_Gid,_

_I took your dumb advice about putting myself out there and having a good time, but nothings come of it. So thanks for that. Fuck off. Oh, and I’m on my way for a whole week away from the villa and the cute bloke. So that’s great. Fuck, this sucks._

_Remus_

***

Remus returned from his week in Rome on Sunday night, feeling completely exhausted. He hadn’t heard from Sirius before he left, nor did he receive anything from him while he was away. Not even a text to see what Remus was up to. There were more than a few moments of panic where Remus wondered if possibly, it wasn’t Sirius who left that poem on his bed. Maybe it was someone else.   
It was a trick. But it wasn’t. He knew that he was just an anxious idiot.

When they got in, there was already dinner waiting for them at the table. The rest of the house was already starting to eat without Monty and Remus. Remus didn’t want to look at the table in any detail because he knew that his eyes would find Sirius right way. He kept his eyes on Monty’s back, but there was only so much avoiding that he could do before he had actually to sit down. Lucky enough for him, he was sat right next to Sirius because of course that’s who would save him a seat.

“Hi,” Sirius smiled as if nothing strange had happened between them. How on earth could he be so nonchalant all of the bloody time? How was it possible for him to have so much confidence? He wondered if Sirius was dying inside like he was. Probably not because Sirius was the type to always have it together. “How was the trip?”

“Great.” Remus smiled as he looked down at the plate in front of him. It was squid, it seemed. Something he probably would have pushed aside before but Fleur did some magic in the kitchen. He was happy to be back at his home away from his real home.

“Just great? You didn’t do swotty things that you want to carry on about? I’d love to hear about it all.”

Remus shrugged, “I did some things, but I’d probably bore you to death if I talked about it.”

“You’d only bore James at this table.” Lily reminded him.

“Remus has talked enough shop this last week to last him a while now,” Monty said. “You tell us about your week here. Anything exciting happen?”

“Sirius went on a date,” James said, sitting up straight and moving his head back and forth quickly.

There was that jealousy again.

“Oh! Is it with that nice girl staying at the Lenardo’s?”

“No, it was with the girl I met the other week,” Sirius explained while looking down at his plate of food. “It was nothing.”

Feeling a bit defeated, Remus continued to eat in silence as everyone else continued conversation. He excused himself, using the very valid excuse that he was knackered and headed straight to his bed. Apparently, something went wrong between Sirius and Remus, and Remus wasn’t exactly sure what that was. Remus figured that he shouldn’t dwell on it and go back to his mindset at the start of the summer. It was just work, and Sirius was completely untouchable.

Sure, he’d hear it from Gid and any of his other mates that he didn’t enjoy himself enough. But he needed to push on and think about his future, his career. Who knows, maybe he could get a scholarship from Monty if he kept his head on. Fleamont did seem to like him but if Remus got up to things not so quaint with Sirius, then maybe he wouldn’t approve. Sirius was practically the man’s son it seemed. Not that Remus needed to worry about it because nothing was going to happen.

Outside of asking Remus how his trip went, he didn’t speak a word to him over dinner He didn’t even look at him. The last thing Remus wanted was to be ignored by someone who he shouldn’t even be wasting a thought on. Sirius was rich, arrogant, and a flirt. He had everything he could ever need in his life handed to him. Remus had to work for everything that he got. Sirius got posh friends who had villas in Tuscany. He went to boarding schools. He was going to be studying medicine at the best medical school in the world, Harvard University. Sirius probably didn’t even earn it. He probably charmed his way in.

He knew that he needed to stop being bitter, but it was hard. It didn’t help that he was about to burst from sexual frustration. Remus hated his body and his desire. Maybe just one good shag with someone, anyone, he would feel much better.

***

The next morning, Remus woke up with a start when his alarm blared at him. He rolled out of his bed as he rubbed his eyes. Slowly, he gathered his things to go shower before heading over to the site. He wished for a day off, and Monty probably would have given him one if he asked, but he wanted to spend as much time there as he could. His days were numbered, so he needed to get out as much as possible.

As Remus was about to open the door, he noticed a small piece of paper just under the door.

It wasn’t a date.

For some reason, the note just made Remus even angrier than the dinner the night before. He felt like as if he was being dangled on a rope by Sirius. As if he were some mouse for the younger man to play with. If Sirius wanted him, then why act so uninterested? Why flirt with the pretty girl at the bar? Why go out with her again? Why not just confront Remus the way Sirius seemed confront everything in his life, straight on with a smile?

When Remus opened the door, he was half hoping that Sirius would be sitting across the way. He wasn’t though because this wasn’t some rom-com. This was real life, and real life blew hard sometimes. So when his full day wore on at the site, without a glimpse of the sleek black hair and piercing blue eyes, Remus tried not to feel too down. He hadn’t remembered ever feeling this way about anyone, even his first crush. Sirius never felt so foolish before, nor did he want to feel this way again. He hoped that it was a once in a lifetime go.

Instead of going home for dinner, Remus went down to Florence. He couldn’t face a dinner table full of people who had no idea how he was feeling. No, he couldn’t face looking at Sirius for one more minute if he was fully clothed and not doing something wicked.

Remus walked around the streets, trying the various street food for dinner. He stopped at a bar for a glass of wine. Remus thought about chatting someone up, but there was no one that he found interesting enough. In the back of his mind, he could only think of his hands running down Sirius’ chest. His lips on Sirius’ neck. Remus needed to get home. There was no way that he could take a car ride with one of the Potter’s or Regulus — or whoever the hell was up in the villa. So he took the number 7 up to Fiesole. He walked the mile, which seemed much shorter than it was the previous week.

When he got to the house, it was mostly quiet. Marlene and Dorcas were up in the sitting room working on something for their summer courses. Effie was enjoying a cup of tea in the garden. But everyone else seemed to be away in their own rooms. Remus climbed to the third floor where the bedrooms of Marlene and Dorcas, Sirius, and his were. Instead of going to his room, the first one once you reached the top floor, he went to Sirius’.

For one moment Remus hesitated before he knocked on Sirius’ door. He was through with not taking what he wanted when it was offered to him up on a plate. Sirius wanted him. Badly, by the looks of his poem.

So, Remus knocked.

But there was silence.

He knocked again.

And nothing again.

So he opened the door, quietly, in case Sirius had fallen asleep, and no one was there. The bed was empty. The lights were off. Sirius was once again hiding from him.

This was it, Remus thought to himself, resigned. He had to give up -- for the second time in less than 24 hours -- because it was just bullshite. Sirius was probably just having a laugh. He had probably found that poem online and printed it and put it on his bed. Sirius had to have known that Remus was extremely interested in him. The whole house was most likely laughing behind his back.

Except it wasn’t bullshite because behind Remus’ door lay Sirius Black in his pants and a tee shirt, reading the thriller that Remus couldn’t really get into. He had one leg bent and the other rested on it. It looked like he was always there, just waiting for Remus to come home every day.

“This book is shite. It makes no sense. Also, this lady has some horrible luck, Christ.” Sirius put the book aside before he pushed himself to sit up.

Remus closed the door behind him, not sure what to say.

“You’re only on page 105 out of 405. That’s a way to go.” He laughed. Remus realized that he was nervous. Sirius Black, king of confidence and flirting, was nervous.

“It’s a shitty book.”

“Buy a new one. Or borrow one, there’s plenty in this place.”

“I hate giving up on books.” Remus kicked his shoes off because he needed to do something.

“Hmm,” Sirius hummed as Remus sat on the edge of his bed. “I didn’t know what to do,” The younger man said abruptly, his mask of confidence was completely gone. “I’m sorry, I freaked out. I wanted you, and you even told me that you wanted me but — I was so embarrassed I put the poem in your room. Then when you responded, I freaked out even more. I’m sorry.”

“Stop saying sorry.” Remus shook his head.

“I don’t know what else to say.”

Instead of saying anything, Remus did what he had wanted to do since he had crashed into Sirius on the day he arrived in Italy. He reached out, pulled him close, and pressed his lips to the other man’s. Sirius let out a little noise of surprise as Remus leaned him back so he could be on top of the younger man to press his body against his.

As Remus’ fingers played with the elastic to Sirius’ pants, his tongue explored Sirius’ mouth. Sirius’ hands were doing his best to get Remus’ jeans off of him. Taking pity on Sirius, Remus quickly pulled back and discarded of his jeans before returning his mouth to Sirius. Instead of his lips, he found interest in the man’s neck. He licked and bit the pale skin there then sucked at his pulse point.

“Please, touch me.” Sirius pressed his hips up against Remus. He couldn’t say no to him, so he finally slipped his hand inside of Sirius’ pants. Remus wrapped his hand around Sirius’ cock and began to stroke him slowly. “Fuck,” Sirius sucked in a harsh breath. “Can I — I touch you?”

“God, please.” Remus rasped.

For weeks now, Remus had been fantasizing about getting Sirius into bed, and a mutual hand job wasn’t what he had planned but he was so hard up, and so on edge, he knew that it was probably the best way to start. He doubted either of them would last long enough for much else. So Remus decided to give the best hand job of his life. It didn’t take long to figure out what Sirius liked. He was very responsive with soft noises and the way his body moved to the touch.

Realizing that he needed and wanted more than some spit, Remus grabbed the aloe he kept on his night stand for the fact his skin was constantly under the sun and dropped it on the bed at Sirius’ hip. Remus decided to change his plan on what they were doing. Right after that he kicked off his boxers and pulled Sirius’ down so his cock could be out free. He lined up his cock against Sirius’ after his hand was slick with the aloe and wrapped his fingers around both of them, “You too,” He said, breathing deeply.

Without further instruction, Sirius followed his lead, and Remus leaned down to kiss him. Remus felt his orgasm stirring in his abdomen the moment that Sirius started to come. Feeling the other man' come on his hand and his stomach, the orgasm rippling through his body, it didn't take more than a few firm strokes to send Remus over the edge.

After a few moments of heavy breathing, Sirius was the first to say something. “Fuck, oh god, that was fast.” Sirius laughed against Remus’ shoulder. “Sorry.”

“Sorry, for what?” Remus furrowed his brow and rolled off of Sirius to give the other man some space and ability to breathe without Remus’ body on top of him.

“I feel like I rushed it,” Sirius said, putting an arm over his face.

“Shut up, it was great. I came, didn’t I?” Remus said with a chuckle.

“I thought it’d be different.”

Remus frowned, feeling a little self-conscious, “Did you not like it?”

“I came, didn’t I?” He echoed Remus, mimicking his northern accent and dropping his posh tones as he did it. “Of course I bloody liked it.” He huffed, his bottom lip protruding in a pout. “I just had the first time we were together so built up in my mind—”

“Don’t build things up in your head. You’re just always going to be let down.”

“Sorry.”

“Stop apologizing.” Remus poked Sirius in the ribs and leaned over to kiss his forehead. “If it makes you feel better, I thought about doing something just like that with you.”

Sirius laughed,“Okay, yeah it does. I’m going to shower. It’s not weird if I don’t stay in here?”

“Go shower and go to bed, Sirius. I have to wake up early any ways.” Remus insisted. “We’ll talk tomorrow.”

***

“If you weren’t on a date with the pretty girl from the bar, what were you doing with her?” Remus asked the next day quietly. Sirius had come to poke around the site, so Remus decided to take a break to spend some time with him.

“We were just getting off with one another.”

“I thought you were a virgin.” Remus was surprised when he asked the question because he didn’t care about that stuff. But there was that horrible jealousy that Remus disliked. Out of all the feelings that flooded him around Sirius, this was the worst. He had never been one to want and dream for what others had. He never cared if someone was dating the person he fancied. This was completely different, though.

“Just penetration wise.” Sirius shrugged, walking along the edge of the bottom arch of the amphitheater seats. “And with men. I mean, not anymore with men, ticked that box last night. I was fairly sure I was gay, but I just wanted to make sure. So I gave a few girls a try, just to see. You also confirmed it totally last night.”

Remus wasn’t sure what to say to Sirius who was being completely frank with him.

“I kept thinking that it was you when I was with her. I mean, all I’ve been thinking about is you lately.” Sirius bit at his bottom lip, looking up at the blue sky. “Like I said last night, I freaked out. I panicked. Even after you left that note on my bed, I didn’t know what to do. I’ve never felt this way before with anyone, and it’s strange. I’m normally so confident in what to do but with you…” Sirius hopped off the amphitheater step and wrapped his arms around Remus’ waist. “I can’t decide if I like the feeling or not.” He pressed a quick kiss to Remus’ cheek before pulling away. “Do you feel this way?”

“I guess.” Remus was feeling his own way around Sirius that didn’t seem like the same, but he didn’t want to discount the younger man.

“If you guess, then you don’t.” Sirius pouted. “Its fine, though. I was afraid to let you touch me because I felt so strongly about you before but I did, and it was wonderful, so I guess I should just go with it.”

“I’m just going with it too.” Remus quirked up the left side of his mouth.

“Well, I’m going to leave you to your swotty business here. I’ll see you later.” Sirius said, starting to back away from Remus slowly with a coy smile.

“You want to just go with it again tonight?” Remus asked with a raised eyebrow.

Sirius winked and nodded before going home.

***

_Gid,_

_You’d be proud of me._

_Remus_

***

_Remus,_

_Have a good rest of the summer then. You’ll be too busy shagging to send me any emails._

_; ) Gid_


	5. Chapter 5

They spent three weeks together. Three weeks together in the sun, rolling around in the green grass of the Tuscan hills. When they were alone, they couldn’t keep their hands off of each other. Every night, Sirius was in Remus’ bed when the rest of the villa was asleep or winding down from the day. Remus was exhausted, but a nice exhausted. He felt continually satisfied, which isn’t something he never thought to feel in his life. Normally his was always stressed, on edge, and waiting for something horrible to happen.

As the weeks wore on, Remus felt his attachment to Sirius growing, and becoming more than just a summer fling. It was probably not the best thing to happen to him. He should have told Sirius they needed to step back but he just couldn’t. He wanted the younger man in his arms whenever possible. He wanted to sit next to him at the table and secretly have his hand on his thigh. He wanted to do daft things with him to kill his spare time. Remus didn’t even care if they were shagging, he just wanted to be with him. Spending any time arguing or at odds with Sirius would ruin the rest of Remus trip, too. Who knew, maybe it in the end they’d split nicely.

Before the fourth week of his time with Sirius and seventh week overall, Monty asked Remus if he were interested in taking a trip to Livorno during his last week. Eagerly, Sirius offered to go with Remus. Monty looked curiously at the younger man when they were talking about it over dinner. It was in that moment Remus realized that the rest of the villa knew they were shagging. When Sirius said he’d just sit around like a good boy and wait for Remus all day, Marlene choked on her wine. Effie made some comment about keeping Remus happy. Lily turned a bright red at that. But no one objected to it. Monty seemed to whole heartedly agree with having Sirius be Remus’ travel partner.

So, that was how Remus was now standing in a rented flat in Livorno with Sirius going through and opening all the windows because it smelt like garlic. “How do you not smell that? Monty’s trying to kill us. Who the bloody hell did he rent this place from?” Sirius said as he darted in front of Remus towards the final window. “So, want to go see those horrid touristy things? We can go for walks up and down the beach. You can take pictures of the beautiful houses.” Sirius snickered. “Oh! There’s this market — one of the sellers has the THE BEST strawberries. We’ll have to go tomorrow. God, they’re good. I don’t understand how amazing they are. I’ve never tasted better.” Sirius said as Remus leaned out the now open window.

“You talk, so much.” Remus laughed, turning around to look at the other man, who was now on the bed, spread out like he wanted to take up as much space as he possibly could.

“It’s a good thing, right? Because you talk too little. I loved to hear you talk more. About anything. You’re in your head too much.”

“I like hearing your voice.”

“I rather fancy your voice, Remus Lupin. It’s nice and deep. It’s like a good Scotch.”

“What do you know about a good Scotch?” Remus raised an eyebrow.

“Plenty. Father used to be part owner of some big producer of the stuff. It was always around the house. My first drink.” Sirius said, waving a hand. This was one of the few times in the seven weeks that Remus had known Sirius that he brought up his family. It was always comments like that, nothing too deep. Remus didn’t really know all that much about Sirius, which was probably good both of their benefits but Remus did want to know.

“What else did your father do?” Remus asked, curiosity getting the best of him. He hoped that Sirius would open up in a different place.

“Mmm, I’ve been wondering when you’d get the balls to just ask about my parents. You’ve insinuated enough.” Sirius closed his eyes and cradled his head with his hands. “Reggie and I, all the way to Italy every summer with someone who isn’t our family. Well, me every summer since I was 12. Then there’s the fact that we got shipped off to boarding school. I think I mentioned Christmas at the Potter’s too. But I never mention them, my parents. They’re dead.” Sirius said bluntly, in a tone that said he was wishing for it to be true.

“Liar.” Remus challenged, moving to sit on the bed next to Sirius.

“Fine, they’re both bigoted arseholes. Reg is — you can’t tell him I told you because this is something he’s supposed to be doing, it’s not my job or right or whatever but you’re so, ugh I hate you because I want to tell you everything.” Sirius pushed himself to sit up across from Remus.

“I promise, I won’t say anything about what you tell me to anyone.” Remus frowned, reaching for Sirius’ hand.

“Reg is trans. He tried so hard to be who he was under our roof and I did everything possible to help him but it was nearly impossible. Whenever they’d start on him, I’d put myself out there and do something daft or say something to get the attention on me. Last year they finally kicked me out on my arse because I was a bad influence and I ended up at the Potters. Long story short, they also got Regulus out too.” Sirius squeezed Remus’ hand. “It’s a lot to talk about and tell people so I just keep it to myself.”

“Maybe you should talk about it.” Remus suggested. He was sure that there was a lot that a few sentences wasn’t going to cover what went on in that house. “I mean, it doesn’t have to be with me—”

“I go to therapy when we’re back in the UK, I just normally sit there though. She has a rule that she won’t talk until I do. It’s great. I’m sure she hates it.” Sirius laughed darkly. “Let’s stop talking about this, we’re alone. Very much alone without other people a wall over. We should be having fun. We have four days to do whatever we want.” Sirius moved to straddled Remus. “So, kiss me and stop talking.”

Remus complied, pulling Sirius right up against him and kissing him with everything he had. Sirius was right, even if Remus wanted to talk more about it, now wasn’t the time to do so.

***

_Mum & Dad,_   
_I’m in Livorno to look at another archeological site. It’s great to see other sites and learn from even more people. It’s been such a great opportunity here and I’m so lucky to have been picked for this fellowship this summer._

_See you soon,_   
_Remus_

***

_Hey Gid,_   
_I’m currently on a short holiday to Livorno and Sirius tagged along. Clearly I’m going to be learning a lot here. It’s a sea side town too._

_Remus_

***

The next night, after dinner and after a good shag and a nap, they were lying in bed exchanging kisses and random stories. Remus had grown to love the stories about James and Sirius at boarding school. He could only imagine what living with them there would have been like. He honestly had a hard time believing that Lily still fancied James after half of was Sirius told him.

“That’s when McGonagall saw James.”

“He was still—”

“Completely naked, yep!”

Remus threw his head back and laughed. He was positive that he never laughed so much in his life than he did with Sirius. “God, you two sound like a handful.”

“Yeah, I’m going to miss him.”

“Harvard and Oxford are a ways away. It will be difficult for you two pull pranks from across the sea.” Remus traced his finger across Sirius’ lower lip before giving him a short, sweet kiss.

“I’ll miss you too. You’ll nearly be the same amount away, give or take some miles.” Sirius sighed loudly. “I’m starting to feel like I made a mistake of choosing to study abroad.”

“It’s Harvard, best medical school in the world. You’re going to learn so much there. I but when you get to the practical portion, it’s going to be so awesome. I can’t wait to hear about it.”

Sirius frowned, not believing Remus.

“You’re just panicking. It’s far from home and it’s going to be different, but you’ll be fine. You’ll make fast friends, I’m sure of it. You’re nothing is not a social butterfly.”

“What if I fail? What if I don’t really want to be a doctor?” Sirius sounded like he was spiraling into anxiety. Remus knew that feeling all too well. It used to happen to him far more often in the past than he did recently.

“Then you change course. It’s not a big deal. I mean, it will feel like a big deal when it happens but it’s normally a good thing as long as you catch yourself.”

“I just don’t want to fail, you know? My parents want me to fail and I just don’t want to give them that satisfaction.” Sirius bit at his nails.

“You also need to make sure that you’re happy and healthy too. You shouldn’t be pushing yourself into something that you don’t want to do just to feel like you won something. Your success shouldn’t be measured by what others think of you. It should be by what you think of yourself.”

“Christ you’re so bloody wise.” Sirius rolled on to his stomach and hugged the pillow under his head.

“Five years does a lot.”

“I think if we were the same age, you’d still be wise. It’s just who you are. I’m a total naive mess and you’re all together. Age has nothing to do with it.”

“I don’t think you’re a naive mess and I’m certainly not all together.” Remus snorted a laugh. “You’re smart and know a lot but you have a lot more to know, I do too. Life’s crazy, we’re never going to get it down right. If you fail the first time, just work hard and try not to fail the second time.” He had a hard time believing that himself but he tried his hardest.

“What if I do?”

“Sirius, you’re going to be fine. I have so much faith in you and what you’re going to do. 10 years from now I want to see you doing your thing and being happy and helping people in whatever way that means.” Remus pressed a kiss on to Sirius’ shoulder.

“You really know what to say.”

“Really because in my head that sounded like a bunch of bullshite,” Remus chuckled.

“It’s not because you actually meant it.” Sirius smiled. “Thank you.”

“Anytime.” Remus hugged Sirius’ side.

“What about you, what are you going to do with your degree?”

“Be a professor, write papers, work in museums. I don’t know.”

“You’re not worried about life? Like if you’re on the right path or whatever.” Sirius asked, scrunching his nose.

“Mum told me that once I stop worrying and planning things to no end, things will fall into place. I mean, I still worry and get stupidly anxious but I try to not plan so much. It’s work so far. I’m here and I never planned to be here before I saw the advert in October.”

Sirius got quiet, looking very thoughtful. “So, if I say fuck everything and just stop caring then everything will fall into place?”

“You can’t say fuck everything, you need some sort of goal. But you have to be flexible to get there.” Remus reasoned.

“Right. I don’t even know what I want that goal to be.”

“You’ll figure it out.” Remus assured him. “Want to watch a movie?” He decided that Sirius needed to take his mind off of the future because it was too scary to think about for too long. They were on a short holiday, they needed to enjoy it.

“Sure.” Sirius gladly moved on from the subject at hand.

They spent the next two days in their own little paradise. Remus didn’t want to leave the flat because once he went back to Florence, it was only days until he had to be on the plane to go back to the UK. That was horrifying because he wasn’t ready to let this summer go. It was the he had ever had in his life, not to mention he was in love with Sirius Black. He really didn’t want to be. He wasn’t sure what to do.


	6. Chapter 6

_Mum & Dad,_   
_My flight gets in at 12:30 Sunday. I’m sad to leave but I’m excited to see you and my mates. I have loads of souvenirs and pictures to show you._

_See You Sunday,_   
_Remus_

***

_Gid,_

_When we’re back in Cambridge, I think I’m going to need about 10 drinks. I really don’t want to leave here. Or leave Sirius. Let me know if you ever figured out how to time travel._

_Remus_

***

It was Remus’ final weekend. They were back in the Tuscan hills outside of Florence at the Potter’s villa. There was no more work for Remus to be doing with the exception of packing up his things. He had finished his sketchings and paper on what the inside of the temple may have looked like for Monty before he had even gone on his short holiday. He only had three more days in the villa and with the people that he had somehow grown close to in only eight weeks.

When Lily, Marlene, and Dorcas all left the night before he was set to leave, Remus had this unbelievable sadness over come him. He wasn’t on the verge of tears but he was feeling horribly empty. There was always a chance he would see them again, especially the ones who were going to be back in England. But he knew that he’d never feel so at peace as he did in Florence surrounded by it’s rich culture and the amazing people who resided in the Potter villa. It existed in its own universe.

Remus found himself out in the back garden after a very solemn dinner had wrapped up. Everyone that was left in the villa seemed just as down as he was. The Potters were losing all of their summer house guests. Fleur was losing so many people to feed. James had just sent Lily off to the airport. Regulus had less people to joke around with. Sirius… Remus wasn’t sure what Sirius was sad about exactly but he was sure it had something to do with him. Was he sad to lose a friend or was it just sex? Was it more than that? Remus knew it was more than that for himself. He had little doubt that Sirius felt the same way.

In the garden, Remus sat down in one of the lounge chairs by the pool, over looking the garden. “I’ve always hated the end of summer but I think I hate this one the most.” Sirius said, walking over to the lounge chair.

“I was told to never be sad at something ending because something had to end to make you as happy as you were now.”

“Something bad ended for that to happen to me.” Sirius squished himself on to the lounge chair, wrapping an arm around Remus’ waist. “I never lose good things, I collect them. The Potters taught me that one.” He chuckled. “For some reason, I don’t think I can collect you.”

“I’m not sure why you’d want to collect me?”

“You’re rather brilliant and I think that I lo-“

“No, no, don’t say it.” Remus said, feeling his chest tightening. Now was not the time to say things like love to one another on the last night.

“Remus, if it’s not the ‘L’ word, then what the bloody hell is it?”

“Infatuation, lust, a summer romance. This isn’t the right environment for love. Unless if you’re already in it. It’s so easy to think you’re in love here. It’s the just the atmosphere. It’s not to say I don’t care about you but I don’t think that we’re in love.” That was a lie, Remus knew he loved Sirius. He just didn’t want to say it because there was far too much left to be decided for Remus’ future. “If you met me in a library at Cambridge, would you have wanted to shag me? Or would you have just not even noticed me? It’s circumstance. It’s a wonderful circumstance, but it’s still circumstance.”

“Is this what happens when you get older? You start to analyze the shite out of everything or is that just your personality?” Sirius furrowed his brow.

“I think that it’s just my personality.” Remus sighed. “I’ve always been like that.”

Sirius sighed loudly and turned to bury his face in Remus’ shoulder. “I do, you know. I really do.”

Remus frowned and ran his fingers through Sirius’ hair.

“I’m guessing you do too but you’re just as scared as me. When you’re nervous, you tend to get more quiet.” He lifted his head up and rested his cheek on Remus’ shoulder. “Have you felt this way before?”

“No.” Remus whispered.

“I haven’t and I don’t think that I’ll ever feel this way again. I know, I’m young but this feels like a once in a lifetime deal, you know?”

Remus took Sirius’ hand and squeezed it, not sure what to say.

“Do you think we should keep in touch when you leave?”

“Do you want to?”

“I do but I’m scared that it’s just going to hurt too much. If you don’t feel the same way then you’re just going to placate me. If you do then you’ll just ignore me.” Sirius bit his lip.

“Whatever you want, do it.”

“What do you want?” Sirius pleaded

Remus closed his eyes and shrugged.

“You’re not being helpful.” Sirius groaned.

“I don’t want to try and then in the end you start seeing some other pre-med student with a good smile and nice hair.”

“I don’t want a pre-med student with a good smile. You have a wonderful smile.”

“Sirius, college is a whole other world for you to live in. You’re going to realize fast when you get there that there’s so much to discover and explore.” Remus said, opening his eyes and looking at Sirius. “I don’t want to hold you back.”

“You’re not holding me back. I don’t get why you don’t see that.”

Remus just stayed quiet again, closing his eyes again.

“Let’s just sleep here tonight.” Sirius said, resting his head on Remus’ chest now. “I don’t want to move.”

“That’s fine with me.” He continued to play with Sirius’ hair. “Tell me some more stories about you and James in school.”

“Fine. You’re becoming decent at deflecting, you know?”

“I have been spending time with you.”

So Remus and Sirius spent the night talking, avoiding the one topic they wanted to talk about the most — their future. But it was a good night, a perfect way to end his time in Florence. He was out in the back garden, breathing the fresh air, and listening to the nature around them. He wished that he could have bottled the moment to take it home with him.

***

Regulus volunteered to drive Remus down to the airport. So Remus said his goodbyes to the Potters out on the front steps of the villa. Sirius was no where to be found. After the had woken up in the lounge chair when the sun started to rise, Sirius had given him a kiss then disappeared into the house. He still wasn’t there.

“Keep in touch, I’m serious. I’m going to Oxford so I better hear from you. We’ll be in the same country again. Lily too.” James said after giving Remus a big hug.

“All right, off we go, Remus is going to miss his flight.” Regulus said, looking at his watch.

“Where’s Sirius?” Monty asked, looking around as if he had just not noticed the man lingering somewhere. “You’ve been close this summer.” That was an understatement, Remus thought.

“He went into the city.” Regulus said, looking a bit sour.

“He already said his goodbyes.” Remus said, assuring the Potters that Sirius wasn’t being a twat. Even though Remus thought he was being a twat.  
  
With one last goodbye they were in the car, headed for the airport. Regulus was quiet for a little while, letting Remus watch the rolling hills go by one last time. “You’re not seeming happy about going home.” Regulus finally said.

“Maybe if your brother-”

“Got over himself and said goodbye you might be a little more happy. That’s bullshite but I’ll let you believe it. You’d probably more sad. I mean he’s a bastard for not saying goodbye. He gave me this to give to you then disappeared to the city.” Regulus said, digging into his pocket to hand over a folded piece of paper.

Remus huffed when he took the paper from Regulus, “He’s—“

“A scaredy cat? Wimp? Idiot? Bastard? Git? Twat? I could go on all day. I know what he is and what he isn’t. He is in love and freaking out. He isn’t going to be able to say goodbye to your face because of all that. Don’t hate him though, he really does fancy the hell out of you.”

Remus crumpled up the letter and stuffed it into his backpack between his feet. He didn’t want to read the letter because if Sirius couldn’t say it to his face by now that it meant nothing. It’s not as if they had this big future ahead of them. They were about to be split up by an entire ocean. He needed to get over Remus, just as Remus needed to get over Sirius. The quicker they moved on, the better the both of them would end up being.

“What’s your brother doing now, do you think?” He asked as they drove through Florence in order to get to the airport. Remus couldn’t help but watching the city go by and think of the memories that he had accumulated on those streets, not just with Sirius but as he walked alone, or when he went down with James and Lily or Marlene and Dorcas, or everyone together. But mostly it was what he had done and seen with Sirius. Sirius showed him all the best spots for everything (eating, drinking, gelato, people watching, bread, shopping, eat). Sirius opened up the world to him.

“Probably pouting by the river, as he does. Well, he used to do it a lot more before you came along.” Regulus said. “He has a things for rivers. One time he fell into the Thames when we were in the city with our parents.” Regulus laughed then got a bit solemn. He hated the Black family, even though he had never met them or really knew too much detail about who they were and what they did but he knew enough. They had messed up two wonderful people.

It only took ten more minutes before Remus and Regulus arrived at the airport. He really didn’t want to go back to the real world to deal with whatever it was that was waiting back in London. Not that he was expecting anything horrible but it was just going to be the same. The same boring life that he had been leading all along. It was the only road that he had ahead of him, though. He just had to go out of his way to make the most of it, to make home just as wonderful as Florence.

***

Two weeks later, Remus laid face down in the bed of his shared apartment. He was about to start his courses in a few day for the new term but he was feeling completely unmotivated. It didn’t help that he was the only person in his flat up until yesterday. Gideon finally arrived the previous night and the other two would be arriving in two days.

In a burst of motivation, Remus decided he needed to clean out his backpack. He dumped the whole thing out of his bed and started to pick through the things that had accumulated in it between his flight from Florence, his week at home, and then his trip back to Cambridge. He had nearly forgotten about the note that Regulus had handed him from Sirius.

He took a moment to decide if he wanted to bin it or if he wanted to read it. Curiosity got the best of him. Remus unfolded the note, smoothing it down so he could read it. He didn’t except to cry, he thought he was cold enough, and strong enough not to do that. But just like with everything involving Sirius, it took Remus by surprise.

_Remus,_   
_I’m writing you a letter because I’m a coward. I have been this entire time, but I’m sure that you figured that out. I’m sorry I’m not there to see you off but I couldn’t risk being so emotional in front of everyone. I LOATHE crying and I’m doing enough of it as I sit here and write this. I don’t know what I’m going to do without you. You are fantastic and brilliant and I’m amazed that you let me near you for the last few months. I was petrified that you wouldn’t give me the time of day when I saw you but you’ve given me so much more than that._

_I hope that you end up just as happy and alive as you’ve made me feel. I hope that you publish so many articles and do everything that you want with your career. I hope that one day we will me again and you’ll have a smile on your face. I wish you every ounce of luck, even though I know that you don’t need it._

_Thank you for this summer and everything you’ve done for me. You’ve done so much, I’m not even sure if you know how you’ve made me feel. I was in a bad place this last year, with everything with my family. I’m sure the Potters and everyone else in the villa who knew about what I was going through were all looking at me to spiral. But I didn’t because you held me down and didn’t let me get too much into my head._

_I do love you and I know that it’s not circumstance. I love you with every fiber of my being. With everything in my heart and soul. You make me feel wonderful. You made me laugh and smile. You made me think. You made the most boring things thrilling.There will never be another Remus Lupin in my life, I swear. You’re unique and I’m so happy to have had you while I could. If only it could have been longer and if only you felt this way too._

_Sirius_

After getting himself to stop the tears, he needed a cuppa. So he made his way to the kitchen, hoping that he wouldn’t run into Gideon. Of course his luck was shite. “Mate, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” He cleared his throat, going to fill the kettle.

“Sirius.”

“Fuck off.”

“I said shag him, don’t fall in love. But, hey, glad you did.”

“Glad I fell in love?” Remus snickered. “Thanks, I now have a broken heart.”

“Good, you never have relationships. It’s about time.”

Remus just glared at his mate. If this was what heartbreak felt like, he wasn’t exactly sure that he wanted to get into another relationship ever again. He was going to need to take some time off before he went out with someone again. Of course Gid would probably push him out and try to get him to meet new people but Gid didn’t understand.

“You know, let’s go get those then drinks I had mentioned.”

***

_Remus,_

_I’d like to extend a scholarship to cover the expensive of your continuing education at Cambridge as well as your future Doctorate. I believe that you’re the most passionate fellow that I’ve worked with. The details of the scholarship are attached. I hope you continue to visit the site in Fiesole._

_Best of luck,_   
_Monty_


	7. Chapter 7

_10 years later…_

_Mister Lupin,_   
_It has been sometime since we’ve been in contact but I hope this email finds you well. Here in Fiesole, we’ve unearthed a new Etruscan home. It’s my hope that you’d be interested in coming out to Italy at your earliest availability to take a look at our new discoveries. Room and board is provided, as the invitation is always there. I hope to see you soon._

_Monty Potter_

***

“I’m not sure why you can’t decide if you want to go or not. I’d think you’d be on the next plane out there.” Peter said as they chatted over a pint after they had finished with a department meeting. “You live for this stuff. The semester is over, and you’re not on for teaching any courses this summer. A few weeks in the summer in Florence, I’d kill for that. I’m pretty sure a lot of people would.”

“I’ve been before.” Remus trailed his finger in the condensation of the glass. He cringed at how bad the comment made him sound. He tried to not be a snobby academic.

“How great for you.” Peter scoffed. “What a luxury.”

“Look, I didn’t mean it to sound the way that it came out. It’s beautiful and so full of history and life but there’s just parts to the past I don’t want to touch there.” He held his hand up.

“Must have killed a man to not want to go down to the Fiesole site, what happened?”

“I sort of had a summer romance with someone there.”

“Potter?” Pete sarcastically with a raised eyebrow and a sly look.

“God, no, no someone else who was staying at the Potter’s villa.” Remus snickered.

“Worried you’ll run into them while you’re down there? You can get a hotel room now, you’re not a struggling student anymore.”

“They’ll invite me to the villa and I can’t say no, they’re so nice, I’d feel like an arse.”

“Just get over yourself and go. I doubt your mystery lover still cares about you.”

That was part of the problem. He still cared about Sirius. Remus had married, had a child, and divorced in the last ten years but he still thought about Sirius. It wasn’t that he thought of him often, but every so often he’d get sucked into a memory of that summer, trigged by something like a good strawberry or a nice glass of wine. It felt so daft, so juvenile but it was almost comforting.

After finishing his drink with Peter, he headed over to Alice’s to pick up Teddy. Since Remus was divorced and co-parenting with divorced wife and her new husband he had to do things like that. It wasn’t horrible but it certainly wasn’t where he thought he’d be at 33. He sort of fell into the relationship with Alice, 8 years ago. He got her pregnant and tried to do the right thing (which isn’t always right). It just didn’t work.

“So, Potter invited me out to Fiesole to look at a new discovery.” Remus said as he watched Alice make tea for everyone. Teddy was busy getting his things together for the weekend.

Alice’s eyes lit up. “That’s brill!”

“Sirius going to be there?” They of course knew the history. He had told Alice, who told Frank eventually.

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t want to go!” Alice accused, taking out three mugs. “You’re going if I have to force you on a flight. He’s the one.”

“Alice,” Remus groaned, putting his head in his hands. “It was two months in a foreign city ten years ago. I’m a different person.”

“Not all together. Deep down you’re still the same Remus Lupin who fell stupidly in love with this bloke. Plus, he might not even be there. If you miss out on doing this because you’re afraid you’ll see an old flame, then you’re going to be mad at yourself the rest of your life.” Alice rationalized as Teddy came into the kitchen. “You’re dad’s going to Italy for a few weeks.”

“Cool! Will you get me something cool when you go?” Teddy asked eagerly. Now he couldn’t bail out on the trip because Teddy was expecting him to go. He could lie to his son but it was such a stupid thing to do. Plus, Alice was right, he’d hate himself if he never went down there.

***

_Hey Gid,_

_Hope life in Ireland is treating you well still. I’ll be making my way over there to see you, Mary, and the kids at some point this summer (August?). But guess where I’m going to start my term break? Fiesole, at the Potter villa because there was a new discovery at the site Monty wants me to see. So, yeah, I’m going to go back there._

_See you soon enough,_   
_Remus_

  
***

_Remus,_

_No fucking way! Is HE going to be there? Oh god, hope he is, last time I saw you I thought you needed to get laid. Don’t be such a twat about it this time. He’s been through uni and is probably some doctor now or about to be, I don’t know. But he’s had a life and he isn’t some virgin with the world ahead of him. If you still fancy him, go for it. Also, August is grand but some of the Weasley kids may be here. Not that you mind, maybe Teddy can come up._

_Gid_

***

When Remus left the airport, looking for his ride up to the villa, he was filled with nervous excitement and also some dred. Remus felt a little more relaxed when he saw James Potter leaning up against on vintage forest green Triumph convertible. He still had a young face and hair that didn’t seem easily tamed. “Lupin! Long time, mate. How’s life treating you?”

“Fairly well, I’d say.” Remus said as James opened the boot.

“You’ve gone full academic. I’m loving the beard.” James scratched his own chin before heaving Remus’ luggage into the car. “Dad’s going to chat your ear off, be ready. He’s been hoarding all of your articles and books.”

“Really?”

“You’re the most accomplished fellow we’ve had.” James said. “Come on, everyone is waiting for you.”

“Everyone?”

“Well, Mum, Dad, Lily, my son—”

“Son?”

“Harry, he’s 9. Yeah, it sort of was an accident but a happy one, as they say.”

“I’ve one now too, 8.”

“Brilliant! When we’re back in the UK, let’s get them together. I’m sure they’ll get on. Oh, right but Marlene is here, Reg and his boyfriend are around but they’re traveling back from Santorini tonight.”

“Full villa. No Dorcas?”

“As usual in regards to it being full and Dorcas is on some life adventure, traveling the world. Some hippie shite, who knows.” James rolled his eyes as he rounded the car for the driver’s seat. “Oh, you’ll probably see the Tonks around too because they just got in to the city last night. And Sirius is at the villa.” He said once they were both settled down in the car, like he knew Remus needed to be seated for him to hear it.

“Figured.”

“Yeah, he’s — excited?”

“Is he really?”

James chewed on his bottom lip. Remus knew that James wasn’t going to give away any of Sirius’ secrets, they were best mates after all. Brothers more like it.

As they wound their was through Florence and up those hills Remus daydreamed about, James spoke of his life and how he was working advancing rights for anyone who needed it. James went on to gush about Lily and how she was teaching 6th form history. Remus was only have listening and humming to give the effect that he was listening fully. But his mind was obviously on what he was going to say or how he was going to act in the presence of Sirius again.

By the time they made it to the villa, Remus felt on the verge of an anxiety attack, he hadn’t had one of those in years. The knot in his chest tightened as James whisked him inside, saying that he’d get the luggage later but he needed to say hi to everyone first. He made it through everyone without seeing Sirius, he wondered if the man took to hiding from him again.

Except he hadn’t run off, he was throwing James’ son into the pool as everyone else was relaxing inside before dinner. Sirius had accumulated not only more defined muscles, but also tattoos up and down one of his arms and one on his ribs. His hair was still long, his eyes were still blue, and he still looked like a bloody model. “Hey, you’re Remus, right?” The kid, who was a carbon copy of James Potter with Lily’s eyes said after pushing himself out of the pool.

“Yeah.”

“Cool, apparently you’re super smart and nice.”

“Ah, thanks, it’s nice to meet you—”

“Harry.” He stood up straight and shook Remus’ hand.

“Harry, it’s incredibly nice to meet you.” He smiled at the boy.

“Mum says it’s time to clean up for dinner.” James nodded towards the doors leading inside.

“Bummer.”

“You have all the time in the world to swim. You need the energy to do so, so go wash up.”

Harry pouted but listened to his father, and stomped off.

“How are you, Lupin?” Sirius asked, raising an eyebrow as he toweled himself off. “I like the beard.”

“Knew you would.” James muttered. “I’m going to go make sure my spawn is actually doing as asked.”

As James went off, he had a sneaking suspicion that he didn’t need to check in. He was probably going to sit with the rest of the Potter crew and whisper about what was happening in the garden.

“Those bastards.” Sirius rolled his eyes, clearly thinking the same thing as Remus. “Well, ten years has treated you well.”

“You as well.” Remus said, trying very hard not to watch a drop of water trail down the man’s chest.

“Only on the surface.” Sirius frowned a little but recovered with a smile on his face. “I think we owe each other a private conversation, right? Because you’re probably just as nervous as me, I hope. Who knows how to deal with this — see your first love, well mine anyway, for the first time in years.” He babbled, just as he did the first summer when he was truly nervous.

“True.” Remus cleared his throat.

“We can do dinner tomorrow if you fancy. They’ll all hoot and holler about it but I don’t really give a shite about that. If you don’t, that is.” Sirius tied his hair up into a bun on top of his head.

“Dinner, yeah, ok.” Remus could give Sirius that and maybe they could talk it out and make things a bit better for him.

“Good, great. I’m going to go change. I’ll see you at dinner.”

“Yeah, okay.”

Remus felt like he was in some sort of dreamland. It was exactly like how he left it, the Potter villa, but everyone was older and a bit different. The pre-uni students were all post-uni. They were all accomplished, it seemed, something he wasn’t shocked about. They were all still so warm and open. Remus wanted to fall right back into that summer. He also felt himself wanting to fall right back into Sirius’ arms.

***

Following a day of observing the slow excavation process of the Etruscan home, it was time for Remus to join Sirius of dinner. The day flew by as he took notes and photographed the findings. He asked questions of Monty’s team, some of whom were there the last time Remus was. He was excited to spend more time on site but he had other important things he needed to see to before he could completely throw himself into the work.

Sirius picked out a quiet restaurant with a view of the Arno. They sat outside, in the back corner, and ordered two glasses of wine. “So, I haven’t heard you talk about what you’re up to in your life. Everyone else filled me in over dinner yesterday.” During the lightning round of catch up with everyone Sirius sat across from him silently, eating the meal that the new live-in chef had put in front of them. Fleur had gone off to open her own place in Paris.

“Well, I’m not a doctor. So, there’s that.” He toyed with the edge of his menu.

Remus’ heart sank, looking at the expression on Sirius’ face.

“I sort of hit that spiral when I went over to the states. Too much partying and not enough studying.”

“Oh.” He frowned, not sure what to say.

“I came back and things didn’t magically fix themselves. James and Lily were starting family, everyone was sort of moving on and I just felt like I was stuck.” He shrugged.

“Sirius…”

“Oh, don’t pity me, I’m good now. I’m successful. Ah, I write.”

“You write? What? Anything I’d know?”

“You know those Gregory Rich stories? The ones with the wizard kid?”

“That’s you.” Remus felt his eyes widen at the realization. “S.O.Porter Is you. You have three books, going on to number four. My son’s obsessed with them.”

“Possible movie deal too, erm, I have to go back to London in two days to talk about that.”

“How did I not know it was you? I mean, no one knew. Why doesn’t anyone know?”

“I wasn’t in a great place when it first got published, off to my second stint in rehab so I wanted to just stay out of any limelight. The publishing house liked the mystery and it’s been working for them. But now, I’m going to have to own it, I think. Which, I’m ready for.”

There was a lot of information in just a few sentences. It made Remus’ head swim with a million questions. Sirius was a popular young adult fiction writer. Sirius had been in rehab (at least) two times. “I — wow — congratulations.”

“You’re stuck on the rehab part?” Sirius questioned.

“A bit.”

“Right, it was mostly heroin because god knows I wanted to be in a punk band my whole life. Pills too. Since my parents weren’t very nice to me, I wasn’t very nice to myself for a long while. Even when we—”

“Were you using back then?”

“Not heroin but whatever else I could get my hands on. I certainly drank too much but no one noticed because there’s always wine here.” Sirius said.

“Should you not drink?” Remus asked as he looked at Sirius’ untouched glass.

“I’m not drinking but I didn’t know if I was going to tell you and I did, so yeah. I just didn’t not want to order a glass and you ask me. I didn’t think it through because it would have sat untouched all night.” He pushed the glass over to Remus’ side of the table. “I’ve been clean and sober for four years now.” Sirius smiled.

“Good, I’m proud of you.” Remus bit his lip. This was the first time Sirius was ever so direct and open for a long period of time without misdirection. Clearly something was going well for him. “I can’t believe you write my sons favorite books.”

“I can’t believe you have a son. Tell me about that, let me know I’m not the only one who was a fuck up this last decade.” Sirius sat back.

“Well, I was mates with Alice before we got together. One night we got ridiculously smashed and we shagged and she ended up pregnant. We decided to give it a go because we were really great friends. I asked her to marry me after Teddy was born. Then things just didn’t work out. We’re much better friends.”

“Ah, I see. Are you seeing anyone now?”

“Nope.” Remus said as the waiter came over to take their order. “You?” He couldn’t help himself asking after they had placed their orders.

“No. There was this bloke, I thought it was going to be the right fit but the bastard cheated on me with someone I thought was a mate. So two relationships gone with that one.” Sirius said. “I’m going to ask you if you still think of me and you’re going to dance around it because you’re not going to be honest.”

“You are? I am?”

“Yep, because that’s us. Then I’ll tell you that I haven’t been able to get you out of my mind for 10 damn years.”

Remus’ cheeks pinked.

“Then Monty had to go and invite you. I swear he didn’t just happened to find this site now, it was some sort of ridiculous plot. They’ve been on me about finding someone nice and settling down. Apparently you’re the someone nice.”

“I am?”

“Don’t be daft, you were the best thing to pass through my life. I don’t want to fuck around this time, Remus Lupin, I’m not 18 anymore. I know there’s been a lot of life lived between now and then but at the core, I think we’re meant to give it a proper try.”

Remus knew they may talk about it, dance around it, but he wasn’t expecting Sirius to be so blunt. He wasn’t sure what he was meant to say. It was only a try Sirius wanted but what did that mean? Sirius was leaving for London to go to talks about his movie deal. He was about to reveal to the world that he was the writer of this famous book. Remus needed to decide if he actually wanted Sirius or if how he felt was just some romantic dream from the past. There was no way he could decide it right then over dinner.

“Sorry, I completely steamrolled this whole conversation.”

“No, it’s fine.”

“It’s not fine, it’s all rather heavy.”

“But you’re not deflecting.”

“I learned to stop doing that a while ago. It didn’t help anyone.” Sirius gave a half smile. “Look, I know that you’re going to want to turn this over in your brain and analyze it but please, don’t shut me out. I can’t go another decade with you not being in my life somehow.”

“I can do that.” Remus reached across the table and squeezed Sirius’ hand.

“Thank you.”


	8. Chapter 8

The next morning Remus rolled out of bed, thoughts of the night before swimming through his head. He tried his best to push himself to get moving so he could get to the site because it would help take his mind off of things for now. Monty offered him to take one of their cars so he didn’t have to worry about getting up early every morning, the man wanted this to be some sort of vacation for Remus.

Down in the kitchen where the Potters would sit at the bar and have their breakfast he found Regulus Black enjoying an orange and some yogurt. “Hey Reg,” Remus grinned.

“How are you?” Regulus perked up.

“Fantastic, it’s nice being back here. How was Santorini with your boyfriend?”

“Fabulous. He had to head back to the states though.” Reg frowned before popping another orange wedge in his mouth.

“Sorry about that.”

“No worries, I’ll see him soon enough. Not ten years, like you and my brother.” He raised an eyebrow. “How’s that all going? I saw him heading out for a run a bit ago but he wouldn’t say a thing.”

“We chatted, what else do you want to happen?” Remus pressed.

“I want you two to grow up and get married.”

Remus’ eyes widened, “Regulus, we haven’t seen one another in years and we’re only just talking. A lot has apparently happened.”

“I know, I was there through it all with him. He’s finally got it together, so you two need to get it together.”

Remus just shook his head and went to the refrigerator. Everyone in the villa was on the same side as Regulus, there was no doubt in his mind. They just didn’t say it to his face like Sirius’ brother did. On some level, he wished that they would all just say how they actually felt about their situation to his face. Maybe it would help him decide where he wanted to go with his relationship with Sirius. Friends? Mere acquaintances who sent the occasional text to? Lovers? In a real, honest to go relationship?

***

Remus didn’t see Sirius until dinner that day, which was a pity because the other man was expected to leave the following morning. He still hadn’t made up his mind about what is going to happen. There was even less time for Remus to figure out what to do than the summer ten years ago. But maybe that was a good thing? Remus had thought so much about what he would do after that summer. What he could need to make a choice was urgency.

After dinner and drinks the group chatted for a long while in the sitting room. Remus felt himself leaning into Sirius as the conversation went on while they sat on the sofa next to one another. No one seemed to say anything but he did notice Lily elbow James after looking their way. Being back with Sirius was natural, as was being around the Potters and the ever busy villa. He felt like he belonged there, and for some reason that was scary too.

Eventually everyone started to filter out to go to sleep. Regulus and Marlene were the last to head to their rooms, with a wink and a suggestive, “have a good night you two”, leaving Sirius and Remus on their own. “Come out to the garden with me?” Sirius asked, putting his hand on his knee.

“Yeah.” Remus pushed himself off the sofa then reached out for Sirius’ hand.

They settled on a lounge chair, which were brand new but brought back memories of their last night together. Remus didn’t want to relive that again but here they were. A while ago he came to the conclusion that life events were cyclical so it shouldn’t have surprised him too much. “So, I’m leaving tomorrow morning. At dawn, sadly.”

“Mmm.” Remus wasn’t sure what to do with the information that he already knew, so he just leaned his head against Sirius shoulder.

“I wouldn’t go back if I didn’t have to and I absolutely have to. But, I was wondering — no, I want to be the one who picks you up at the airport when you go back to England.”

Remus opened his mouth but nothing was coming out because he was almost in shock. Sirius knew what he wanted and he was trying his damnedest to get it. It was wonderful.

“Last time we fucked about and it had a lot to do with me. I just disappeared when you went off. We didn’t make real plans. I’m making a real plan. It’s only been a full day since we’ve been connected again and I know I can’t possibly live without you in my life. So, please, I want to be the one to pick you up from the airport when you go back. You don’t have to answer me right now but I do expect an answer before you head home.”

“Okay.”

They sat and talked and talked until just after midnight. They talked about the good, the bad, and the ugly of the last ten years. They reminisced about that lovely summer. “I should let you sleep. You have swotty things to do in the morning, old things to look at.” Sirius said holding their interlaced hands up in front of them.

“I’m afraid if I go to sleep. I’m going to wake up and you’ll be gone and I’ll never see you again.”

“That’s never going to happen, Remus. You’re going to hear from me again. Plus, we’ve plans. You’re going to be in touch with me.” He said with his usual confidence. He was Sirius Black after all.

Sirius and Remus quietly climbed the three flights of stairs up to where their rooms were, hand in hand. Remus was experiencing that deja vu again. How many times have they done this before? Probably as many nights as they were together before. “Do you want to come in…” Remus leaned against his door. He really wanted Sirius, more than he had wanted anyone in recent memory. That sexual attraction was still there.

“No because I don’t want it to turn into — that or whatever.” Sirius bit his lip. “I mean, I’d love to shag but I rather not right now. I want you to know that this is real and I’m not that type of boy. I will give you this kiss though, if you want.”

Remus laughed softly before leaning in and pressing his lips to Sirius’. Sirius wound an arm Remus’ waist and pulled him closer, his tongue teasing into Remus’ mouth. It was a very long few seconds of bliss before Sirius pulled back, resting a hand on Remus’ chest. “That’s my cue to go to bed or I won’t stay true to what I said. You’re far too tempting for your own good.”

“Right, so what time do you leave in the morning? I want to make sure I’m up to see you off.” He didn’t want the same mistake to happen twice. It was in his hands now.

“Four. But I don’t want you to wake up. We’ll see each other in a few weeks.”

“Hopefully.”

“We will. Goodbye Remus Lupin, have a good nights sleep.” Sirius gave Remus a lingering kiss. “I’ll be waiting to hear from you.”

In that moment Remus knew exactly what he was going to be doing about his future with Sirius. Sod the long time apart, he knew that deep down he still loved him. He was not going to let it slip through his fingers again. Once he was inside of his room he went into find his phone and typed in a message. He spent enough time worrying and analyzing in the past. It was time for him to stop and do what his heart truly wanted.

_My flight gets into Cambridge at 2:15. -Remus_

_I’ll be there. -Sirius_

***

_5 Years Later…_

Remus rolled over and reached out to the other side of the bed with a sigh. Cold and empty, as it usually was lately when Remus woke up. Sirius had a tendency to get out of bed in the middle of the night if an idea struck him for writing. It wasn’t a surprise that it happened tonight because Sirius was going through a bit of writer’s block of late. He was officially working on his last Gregory Rich novel, book number 7. Remus was so proud of him but Sirius was constantly stressing over the ending. So many people had read it and followed these characters through, it was a lot of pressure to come up with a good ending.

He wandered down the hall of the home, which they had purchased two years ago in a village outside of Cambridge. Sirius fancied the idea of living outside of a major city and Remus didn’t hate the idea either so he agreed. The commute to campus wasn’t bad, neither was the commute to Alice and Frank’s house. It was the perfect little cottage for themselves… As well as possible adopted kids, which were currently up in the air because Sirius was so focused on the books.

“Breakfast or tea, love?” Remus asked as he walked into Sirius’ little office/their tiny library. Sirius was normally ravenous after spending the early morning hours on his computer.

Sirius let out a loud huffed and shut his laptop, “If I drank, I’d say pop a bottle of champagne because I’m done.” He leaned his elbows on the desk and a grin spread across his face. He looked relieved, as if someone had lifted a weight he was carrying on his shoulders.

Remus crossed the room so he could lean over the desk and kiss Sirius soundly. “Congratulations, how’s it feel?”

“Amazing. Scary.”

In this whole process, Sirius talked about how ending the story was going to be so hard because it had overtaken his life for so long. His characters were apart of him, as were their journeys. Remus was sure that not wanting to let go of them, was apart of Sirius’ struggles of late trying to wrap up the story. “Well, you’ve still got the movies to consult on and such. A few more years with this.”

“I know but, I want to write but I have nothing more to write for them. I could go off and branch out on backstories and histories but I feel like I would just be beating a dead horse.”

“I’d say write something new but I don’t know how easy that is because I tend to write about the same things. I’m used to dealing with facts and I normally only deal with Etruscans or early Romans.” Remus laughed, sitting on the end of Sirius’ desk.

“I have something I want to write about, actually.”

“Yeah?”

“It’s a love story, spans over a decade.” Sirius smiled and leaned back in his chair.

“Oh god.” Remus snorted a laugh. “You really want to write about us? Using me as a character — a bloody werewolf nonetheless— in your other book isn’t enough.”

“Would you mind, if I wrote about us? Honestly wrote about us?”

“Do what you want, as long as you don’t leave me, it’s fine.”

“I’d never do that.” Sirius said before he yawned and rubbed his eyes. “Instead of breakfast right now, I think I need some sleep first. Then maybe I’ll have lunch. And we can talk about adopting that baby finally when I have some food in me.”

Remus smiled widely. He truly couldn’t have been any happier with his life. Even though he took the long way round with Sirius, it was worth the wait because they both needed to grow and learn. He thanked Monty everyday his head for bringing them together — twice. He thanked the universe for just making it happen.

“Come lay down with me?”

“Sure.” Remus hopped off the desk and took Sirius’ hand.

***

_Hey Gid,_

_We’re going to be adopting a baby. I’d ask you to be the godfather but Sirius told me if he didn’t appoint James for that role then he’d disown us. Who knows, maybe we’ll do twins or something._

_Remus_


End file.
